Were all just so busy these days. Slammed in fact. Buried. Desperately trying to keep our heads above water. While these common responses to How are you? seem like theyre lifted from the Worst Case Scenario Handbook, there seems to be a constant exchange, even a a one-upping, of just how much we have on our plates when we communicate about our work.
My favorite busy humble-brag was that of a potential client who apologized for lack of communication due to a week-long fire drill. What does that even mean? Does this mean there were fake fires, but not real ones, all week? Does calling it a drill mean that everything is okay? Is your business in flames? Should I call someone?
Then there was the date I had with a fellow who was so busy crashing on deadlines that he asked me to just make a reservation somewhere for him. I was floored.
So much of this is about out-doing each other. To say that Im busier than you are means Im more important, or that my time is more valuable, or that I am winning at some never-finished rat race to Inbox Zero. (Inbox Zero is another absurd contest to tackle at another time.) What youre trying to say with these responses is: Im busier, more in-demand, more successful.
Heres the thing: its harming how we communicate, connect, and interact. Everyone is busy, in different sorts of ways. Maybe you have lots of clients, or are starting a new business, or are taking care of a newborn. The point is this: with limited time and unlimited demands on that time, its easy to fill your plate with activities constantly. But this doesnt mean that you should.
To assume that being busy (at this point it has totally lost its meaning) is cool, or brag-worthy, or tweetable, is ridiculous. By lobbing these brags, endlessly puffing our shoulders about how up to my neck we are, were missing out on important connections with family and friends, as well as personal time. In addition to having entire conversations about how busy we are, we fail to share feelings with friends and family, ask about important matters, and realize that the busy is something that can be put on hold for a little while.
I am not trying to belittle anyones work-load in the slightest. But in using it as a one-upping mechanism, were failing to connect in a very substantial way. And were making the problem worse: When everyone around us is slammed, its easy to feel guilty if were not slaving away on a never-ending treadmill of toil. By trying to compete about it, were only adding to that pool of water everyone seems to be constantly treading in. And all this complaining is having serious effects on our mental health.
And yet we continue to use long hours as a sort of macho badge of honor.
We need to work smart, not (just) hard.
Just because you clocked 15 hours at your office, with likely dry eyeballs and a complete lack of focus, doesnt mean youve accomplished things in a smart way. Many people have written or spoken about this. Typically, you have 90-120 minutes before you devolve into internet fodder or social media. If youre putting in 15 straight hours at your desk, without breaks, how good is your output? How much time are you wasting?
The distinction between working hard versus smart has hit me as an entrepreneur. In high school and college I was always that girl who read all the assigned reading (and no, I was not giving you my study guide). I created outlines, outlines of outlines, and then flashcards. One of my greatest lessons as a businessperson has been to throw out that skill set. This isnt to say you shouldnt be diligent or that you should half-heartedly execute, but rather, that its crucial to know what you have to do as opposed to everything you could do. Its about being strategic.
For once, Id like to hear someone brag about their excellent time management skills, rather than complain about how much they cant get done. Maybe we could learn something from each other.
In fact, Ill start here are three tactics Ive been using to work smarter:
Constrain the time. The more I constrain my time, the more focused and productive I feel, and the less I waste time on low-priority work. If you can only afford to spend 45 minutes on a certain project, then only spend 45 minutes on it and move on, even if it isnt perfect.
Use a scheduler. If youre really up to your neck, its very easy to find a scheduler, virtual or otherwise, to help put things on your calendar. Sometimes its a matter of freeing up that time used for coordinating plans to actually doing them. Zirtual is a great answer to this. As is the DIY scheduler Doodle.
Cut the fat. Once I cut out superfluous meetings that were not: fun, productive, leading to new business, or really had something wonderful in it for me professional or otherwise, that plate emptied a little bit. (Heres a tool for figuring out what to cut.)
Yes, we all have some strange need to out-misery each other. Acknowledging that is a first step. But next time you speak to a friend and want to lament about how busy you are, ask yourself why. Try steering the conversation away from a complain-off. With some practice you might find yourself actually feeling less buried (or at least feeling less of a need to say it all the time).
And maybe thats something worth bragging about.
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