Discover how making necessary endings can radically improve your quality of life.
Every single one of us has been stuck in a rut at one point or another. Regardless of whether it was a bad relationship or an unsatisfactory job, it was most definitely a hard thing to end. The same applies to any difficult situation. As a result, this proves how us humans are so flexible in times of difficulty and unhappiness.
However, at times it’s crucial that we get rid of that toxicity in our lives that way we can live a more fulfilled life. This stands true regardless of if you need to shut down your struggling business to go back to school or put an end to an abusive relationship; we need to take the leap even if it’s in a downward direction because anyways, nine times out of ten, the grass will be greener on the other side.
In this text, you’ll learn
- How to turn endings into a normal, habitual part of your life;
- The signs that you need to look out for because they can be indicators that something needs to come to an end; as well as
- How come, on occasion, you need to get someone else to put an end to things for you.
Like it or not, endings are necessary, whether at work, in business, or in our personal lives.
At one point or another, we’ve all ended up hitting that wall; we are face to face with the end and there’s nothing in our power that can be done.
This universal experience can be galling, so it’s crucial not to forget that endings have a purpose. They show us that with time, we will end up finally thriving in both professional and personal settings. Therefore, they are actually very important.
For example, there are occasions when the best thing to do is to put a stop to a business venture or a product line. Maybe, for instance, a new technology has caused your efforts to be unprofitable such as the Walkman cassette player, which was a classic that had to be put to rest with time.
This stands true for fashion trends as well. Flared corduroy trousers may have been what was in during the 70s, but due to the current low demand, there is no reason to produce nearly as many pairs anymore.
At times, even employees need to be let go. Why should you hold onto someone if they are no longer living up to what they had promised? That’s when you know you need to find a better replacement that will assist you with reaching your long-standing goals.
What applies to business is no different in our personal lives. Endings are impossible to steer clear of and yet they make us realize that we are able to move on.
A relationship or a friendship that isn’t supportive keeps us from blossoming and an unfunctional or an abusive relationship or friendship that isn’t healthy is even worse. However, your relationship with yourself is much more difficult to see. For instance, try to think about your behavioral patterns or any harmful habits that you have or maybe you are too dependent on the support of your parents.
To put it simply, endings are actually a good thing. They are also important. If we didn’t have them, all of us would be unhappily married to all of our high school sweethearts, stuck with our first jobs, or weighed down with staff that are unreliable. As a result, we’d never try to go after our goals or make our dreams happen.
Have a clear idea of your goals and don’t be afraid of endings.
The gardener that’s pruning their rose bushes understands their goal well: go after making healthy buds that have vibrant colors.
However, the question at hand is, how will your metaphorical rose bush end up looking? Ask yourself how come and to what extent you’re pruning. In other words, what are your goals?
You may prune so that you end up with the energy to leave satisfied and content every day. You may need, for instance, to cut down on a professional or a personal relationship that may be getting a bit too in the way.
A bit of pruning is necessary in business as well, even at times when you’ve got annual growth targets.
Take, for instance, Jack Welch, who is the former CEO of General Electric. Welch pruned to bring his company into the market’s top two. This resulted in the need to get rid of any of the unproductive business initiatives, having annual layoffs, as well as cutting back on the red tape. With the help of Welch, GE’s market value ended up increasing significantly from a “mere” $14 billion all the way to $410 billion. That’s definitely one way to meet a goal.
If you want to make the most out of endings, you need to normalize them.
It’s typical to assume that endings are negative occurrences. This is why we try to stay away from them. However, as soon as we think of endings as normal, we won’t have a reason to be scared of them and we scramble away from them.
Suppose there’s a small businessman and his name is Blair. He was once in the chemical manufacturing industry, but as technology became more advanced, his type of work became out-of-date. He worked hard, invested more money, and he searched endlessly for new potential customers. However, there was not use. He had to face the unavoidable reality.
Granted, you can fight and persevere, that isn’t always your best bet. Blair understood that which is why he shut down his company. He ended up going back to school and then began another successful career in investment.
However, how do know what is worth fighting for? Keep reading to find out.
Indicators will show whether something in your life should end or if you should press on.
Since endings are difficult, we do all that we can to stay away from them. However, when do we know that an ending is necessary?
To begin, things that happened in the past are a good way to figure out what will happen in the future. Therefore, take a look at the past if you want to make predictions about your potential future.
How does this look in reality? Let’s take a look at the advice an author gave a friend who had come up to them. The friend’s daughter had a boyfriend who had proposed, but he didn’t know whether or not to give the couple his blessing.
The author had proposed his friend to ask the boyfriend whether they could see their tax returns and credit report. This wasn’t meant to see how much the boyfriend owned, but rather to show how committed and responsible he was. If you can’t trust the boyfriend with credit or tax forms, how could he be trusted with the friend’s daughter to make a lasting commitment?
Regardless of whether it’s a partner, a business, or an employee, when you are looking to see the future, you need to go the past to find the answer.
Another indicator of success in any scenario or situation lies in how trustworthy the person of responsibility is.
Take a look at the characteristics of the person that you’re handling regardless of whether they’re a collaborator, a business partner, your son-in-law, or your partner. Take a close look and ask yourself whether or not you trust them with the task at hand.
Suppose you run a comedy club. The success of it depends on whether or not you get the viewers to laugh and thus tell their friends about it that way you can sell more tickets. One day you end up hiring an amateur, but they end up killing the stage, but in a bad way. They promise you that they’ll be different the next time. Do you think that you should give them another shot or just hire a trusted professional the next show? The professional will be the safer and more trustworthy choice if you’d like to keep your reputation all-in-one-piece.
In other words, if you’d like to know what’s in the future, analyze those that the success of your future depends on.
To create sufficient urgency for change, you've got to get real about present circumstances.
Endings often seem difficult as they need change.
However, the majority of us only make changes whenever they are required without a doubt, which is why they are sensitive. We must be pushed by fear and pulled by the chance that the new situation will be even greater. The best way that we are pushed is through a sense of urgency regardless of whether we need to leave an unsatisfactory situation or we want to get to a better place.
Suppose you’re managing a chair-selling company. It’s not doing too well, but you do figure out how to keep it going. Now, what would be your next move if a staff member told you that a competitor was selling trendier and cheaper items? You’d probably end up ending your contract with your supplier and you’d try to find a new one that’ll give you products at a lower cost. Your staff member was the one who made that sense of urgency and brought you the motivation necessary to change.
If you correctly use the power of urgency, you must be realistic about the current situation. Would you be able to foresee yourself being in that same situation in the future?
The majority of people need to actually smell smoke prior to leaving a burning building. This is due to the fact that it’s only at that moment that they are confronted with the reality of the situation.
Give this exercise a try. Go stand in front of a mirror and be honest with yourself. How does the current situation that you’re in feel like? Try to sense every part of it including the feel and smell and try to imagine how it would play out. Now, try to think about the future. Take with you the current sensations. Would you still be able to imagine being surrounded by the same emotions and sensations in several years?
Most definitely, you wouldn’t be able to. Use that sense of dissatisfaction to make the urgency necessary to create an ending. Would you, in our previous example, still want to continue barely making it by with selling those same old chairs or would you strive to push your company forward and trying to run with new market trends?
Sometimes you have to shoulder the responsibility for ending a relationship yourself.
Suppose you’re in a loving and a close relationship with a guy. However, his noncommittal behavior proves difficult to foresee a future with him. Regardless, you still love him and can’t see yourself ending the relationship.
What do you do in this case?
First of all, you need to be clear with him. Reiterate your standards and then let him make the choice. This means that you let them know what you want and need and then they need to see whether or not they can make that happen. If they aren’t able to do that then that is the end of that. Fin.
You must make your goals heard. For example, you may want a partner that is a good husband, a father to your children, is responsible, financially stable, and passionate instead of lazy. Don’t hesitate to let them know. Lastly, you can tell him whether or not he’s ready to be that person in order to securitize the longevity of the relationship.
However, every decision doesn’t have to work like it. If it’s something that only concerns you then it is up to you to make your own self-selection.
Say, for instance, you just moved to New York, but you weren’t able to find work or maybe you were trying to give your failing one-person business another breath. In both of those cases, you have to be the one that makes the choice.
It’s here that you need to be clear with yourself about your standards as well as your expectations, meaning you need to self-select. Maybe you could set expectation deadlines like, “If I don’t have an alright position by October, I’ll move back home”, or, “If in six months my finances are still in the red, I will have to put my business to an end.”
Therefore, you’ve made the decision to put things to an end. However, how do you bring that decision to life?
We all dread break-up conversations, so being well prepared is essential.
If you ever had to put a romantic or a professional relationship to an end, you understand that the conversation that needs to take place can be very scary. A lot of people put it off, but that’s completely understandable.
Take, for instance, Lori and Jeff.
For a number of years, Jeff was Lori’s right hand man who was smart and did his job well. In this advertising company, Lori was the executive. Their only problem lied in the fact that Jeff lacked social skills. In fact, at times, Lori found herself fixing up the messes that he had made.
A bit later, Lori was offered a position at some other firm where she was given the ability to create her own team. After making some careful considerations, Lori decided that she wouldn’t bring Jeff as she just couldn’t deal with the drama anymore. She didn’t want to waste anymore of her time or energy on it.
Regardless of having made her decision, Lori still procrastinated, but it wasn’t because of the decision. It was because of the conversation that had to happen.
The solution is clear. You need to get yourself ready for those kinds of conversations by imagining the final goals that go beyond the technicalities of the conversation.
In order to be able to go through with it, you must have both a clear mind and clear objectives. If that’s not the case, you could end up getting off topic by the other person attempting to persuade you or from the love that you have for them.
A great way to get clarity is to figure out in advance what it is that you’d like to say.
Make sure that you know what you’d like prior to starting.
Say you want to put an end to an abusive relationship. You want to tell your past partner that you never want them contacting you again and that you will get the authorities involved should they not abide.
Only as soon as you’ve fixed your goals are you able to start the conversation.
As soon as your objectives are clear, you’ll be a lot more prepared for the uncomfortable conversation that puts an end to it all.
The main takeaway in this text:
There are times when you need endings to come faster rather than at a later time. Relationships with staff members, partners, friends, or a business manager shouldn’t be kept if they stop you from thriving. You need to do something; put a line between the past and figure out how to move forward.
Analyze an ending and make sure that you are clear about what you want to do.
Moods are infectious. When you are impacted by others, you get the help needed to go through with sensitive and complex endings. If you are finding it difficult to get out of an unhealthy relationship, you need to put an ending alliance around you such as a group of people that, just like you, are able to see the urgency for an ending. When you are around these people, you will be able to make the pressure that impacts you to positively make the required ending happen.